So the Teutonic Goddess and I went to get Slurpees. Don't ask why, just go with it, because that's what I did. Anyway, I haven't had a Slurpee for a good LOOONG while. As in, childhood.
Now slurpee's were never really something that I woulda described as natural, but at least then they had flavors that vaguely resembled something that might have been derived from a plant, or at least shown to it.
That day is no more.
I do not know WTF they put in those things but baby it didn't come out of nature. I'm thinking Area 51. By way of comparison, Nacho Cheese Doritos seem like organically-grown-corn-natural-goodness. You take a swig from a Slurpee and it is like Dow Chemical just did the smack down on your taste buds, and your taste buds may not recover. Permanently.
It's not the brain freeze either. It's UNNATURAL, like radioactive waste from the planet Krypton or something. You sip and there are little alien things probing your brain grooves.
No. really. I can still hear them.
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