Don't leave the environment to the Liberals!

Republicans.

It’s time we had a little chat about this whole environmental thing. Yeah, I know, I know, the whole thing is a liberal conspiracy to restrain business and take over the world. I understand. But let’s tone down the political bovine scatology and see if we can agree on a few things.

The root of Conservation is the same as Conservative, right? Your most excellent big guy, Teddy Roosevelt, was a serious conservationist, right? He was responsible for the modern national park service, right? He was a SERIOUS hunter, right? This was no tree-hugging panty-waist; he was a Man’s Republican.

Now let’s talk trash. No, I don’t mean smack talk, I mean rubbish, garbage, crapola. I happen to work occasionally in the biz of waste disposal and while I agree that it is not a huge deal on land depending on the location…..it is a very huge deal in our oceans. Do you like to fish? I know I do. Trash kills our fish. No really. In addition, chemicals that flow into water go right into the little beggars. If you like to munch on mercury, eat some fish. Fact, check for yourself. More trash, more mercury, more metal in your salmon Scooby snacks.

Have you heard about the Pacific Gyre? Oh my. Imagine every little piece of crap we drop in the oceans collecting in one spot in the middle of the ocean like a toilet bowl that never stops swirling. Nice thought? Well it’s out there. Lost nets. Cargo Containers. Plastic Pellets. Beach Balls. Everything.

Overfishing. A buddy of mine just went down to Mexico and while they were trying to score some serious tunas, a huge fishing trawler pulled up and placed a net around the entire school of fish. I’m serious. My buddy said they were fishing for the few fish that escaped. They-Took-The-Entire-School-of-Tuna. All of it. I don’t know about you, but that story keeps me awake at night. I keep seeing buffalo herds the size of the state of Kansas, and there being nearly NONE now. Imagine no albacore. No bass. No swordfish. Depressing.

Chemicals. Ah, my favorite. Yes, they are not as bad as they say…..except for when they ARE. Before those damn liberals started getting in the way of business and limiting the chemicals that business dumped into the oceans and rivers, we had a river catch fire. No I’m, serious, it actually caught fire. It had so much oil residue that in 1969 the Cuyahoga river lit. We have a HUGE amount of metals, pesticides and other yummy goodness on the bottom of most of our harbors and rivers left over from those “good ole days”. That’s where your salmon gets its metallic goodness that I mentioned earlier. Yum.

Smog. Have you heard about the Olympics in China? It’s a good thing that these are tough athletes, because they will soon get to see what they breathe. California used to be like that. I am old enough to remember Stage 1 Smog Alerts when we were not allowed out onto the playground due to smog. No really. We don’t have that now even on the worst days, because them damn liberals passed laws that stopped air pollution. China isn’t there yet.

Global warming. Okay fine, so you don’t believe us scientists. I get it. No really. Science is a process and it takes time to tease out the facts from the theories, and it changes, which looks like a falsehood. I get it. But just consider this: We really are pumping insane amounts of oil into the air. Do you really think that doesn’t affect us? It sure did in the 1970s with the smog. It still does in other places like China. So bad that people die from smog! There is also the thought that it really will hurt business as we use it up. Perhaps we should start by conserving (there’s that damn Conservative’s word again!). A little country like Brazil is now oil-independent because they made their own oil out of sugar cane. Imagine a world where we wouldn’t have to buy oil from the middle east!

Recycling and energy efficiency. Us fiscally conservative people like to save money, right? Well my financial buddies, install energy-efficient light bulbs in your house and your business! Seriously. Many of the bulbs last nearly forever and cost little more! Walmart is even getting into it. Again, we are conservationists, right? Let’s conserve for goodness sake! Recycling, especially with energy, is like a 401k account that just keeps giving back given time and enough people making small contributions!

But let me leave you with this thought:

Do you really think it’s a good idea to leave these problems to just the liberals? Really?