Green Ribbon

The most bizarre thing is happening this year. Green ribbon has ceased to exist.

You know the color green that goes with X-mas? Kind of an emerald green. The green that goes with red on the x-mas tree? There is none at Costco. There is none at the grocery store. There is none at Michaels Craft Center. What.....the.....heck...is.....going......on?

Did China decide that it was going to be a Red christmas and not provide the green ribbon this year? Did the decorators have a strike and fail to tell us that green was cut at the negotiating table? Did Walmart decide to divide it between this year and next? What.....the......heck?

Perhaps Santa decide to declare he was a Blood? I mean the crips are Blue, right? What's up with that? He didn't have to stop the green, did he?

I managed to find some discount rolls of green ribbon from last year. Discount being $3.50 for about an inch of ribbon. Go figure. Perhaps FD&C Green #3 has ran out as a commondity? Was there a run on green M&Ms because everyone was horny under the mistletoe which neutered the supply of green dye? I'm just askin'!

It's a mystery.

If you see any green ribbon....you know where to call!